Press Kit Contact Buy Clark Aldrich Designs Bio Books and Articles Blog, Facebook, and Twitter

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

If Truth in Advertising Was Applied to the School Motto

One has to appreciate the enthusiasm and even aspiration of the school motto or slogan. Just consider such phrases as: "Where Students Come First"; "Success and Spirit is Our School"; "We Create the Leaders of Tomorrow"; and "Dedicated to Excellence."

One also has to wonder what would happen if truth in advertising was applied to school mottoes. If so, we might see such examples as:
  • Where the top 5% of our students thrive
  • We suppress our disdain for parents every day
  • Teaching the same material the same way for over 100 years
  • Better than prisons
  • Our unions get results
  • Free diagnosis of psychological disorder every year
  • We'll pretend to like your child the best
  • In just 12 short years, we will prepare you for an entry level job. The rest is up to you.
  • Teaching is our only skill
  • Better test-takers make for better real estate prices
  • We only fail the students who deserve it
  • 97% asbestos free
  • More than 10% of each day dedicated to education
  • Stretching your tax dollars through fiber-free food and recirculated air
  • From Bell Curves, Excellence (better in Latin)
  • Better health through stronger cleaning chemicals
  • Preparing our children for a lifetime of memorization
  • $12,000 worth of education related services for only $11,749 per student per year
  • Classrooms: The best use of childhood
  • Standardizing our processes in accordance with the leading business manufacturing best practices
  • Every school is the same, because every student is the same

Any others? Please put them in a comment.


  1. Love these! I also thought of a few...

    Who says learning has to be fun?

    Making learning a chore for every child.

    We'll tell you what to do, all day long.