If Truth in Advertising Was Applied to the School Motto

One has to appreciate the enthusiasm and even aspiration of the school motto or slogan. Just consider such phrases as: "Where Students Come First"; "Success and Spirit is Our School"; "We Create the Leaders of Tomorrow"; and "Dedicated to Excellence."

One also has to wonder what would happen if truth in advertising was applied to school mottoes. If so, we might see such examples as:

• Where the top 5% of our students thrive
• We suppress our disdain for parents every day
• Teaching the same material the same way for over 100 years
• Better than prisons
• Our unions get results
• Free diagnosis of psychological disorder every year
• We'll pretend to like your child the best
• In just 12 short years, we will prepare you for an entry level job. The rest is up to you.
• Teaching is our only skill
• Better test-takers make for better real estate prices
• We only fail the students who deserve it
• 97% asbestos free
• More than 10% of each day dedicated to education
• Stretching your tax dollars through fiber-free food and recirculated air
• From Bell Curves, Excellence (better in Latin)
• Better health through stronger cleaning chemicals
• Preparing our children for a lifetime of memorization
• $12,000 worth of education related services for only $11,749 per student per year
• Classrooms: The best use of childhood
• Standardizing our processes in accordance with the leading business manufacturing best practices
• Every school is the same, because every student is the same

Any others? Please put them in a comment.

See also: K-12 schools won't significantly change in the next three decades